Jason and Ha did not meditate their way through the first round of specifying the ESP Phoenix guitar. Jason was used to staying standing up at Ha's house, like an attorney under inquiry. Ha stayed seated like a judge, often not standing before final agreement. For the first time they used a different methodology for the lutherie design session and the specific guitar folio. They debated. Jason was still at a disadvantage even if he did not yet reveal what Team Rgo was doing with ESP. Ha was in the regional debate club and had gathered experience in Moot Court, Student Congress, Model United Nations, Lincoln-Douglas values debate, and was moved on to Policy Debate by her future husband Julian Strauss. She had a whiff of Extemporaneous speaking, Poetry, Drama, Comedy.
    He hugged the TellMeMore guitar because it did not have its own strap, lent out to his fancy MeinTeal turquoise-coloured Stratocaster. Poor TellMeMore had serviced Gibson with nothing to show for it. Gibson was so cheap, even Fender had to buy the Seymour Duncan stock P-90 for Gibson. Yeah, who is Paul Landers? Jason tried to focus Ha. The guitarist for Rammstein, he said. Oh! We are making the ESP guitar for that German band? Yes, it's Metal, isn't it? he wanted affirmation. Japan is good for Metal guitaring. Why not? Okay, she went along. Rammstein is Industrial, aren't they? she wanted Jason to get the memo. That's what you say! Not everything you say turns out how other people do what they want, he said.



Shoegazer had tipped him on a legal challenge regarding Rammstein, not ESP. Jason exercised Ha on Rgo's budget and how they were going to pay for concert tours. He made it easier for her and harder on himself without the “communist worksheet”. She told him she was committed to sponsoring Rammstein's manager.





He explained the legal eagles' complaint.

Ohhhhh! Jason got it!




    Ha said, Mine is Till, I forgot his last name, the singer. I meant a guitar company! he said. So, to Till's right is Paul Landers. Who's the guy on the left? she quizzed to get the memo from Jason about invisible bodies and not a photograph anywhere. Ms Quach, he said, fine, you can be their attorney but you can't be their accountant. Not my interpretation, she said. Counselor Guyker, quit hugging your guitar! It is not the subject under inquiry. Leave me alone, Ms Quach! He looked at his notes on paper. You will have to do the microphones for your client, umm, Government attorney, Jason said. Avocat, soldat, Ha chimed, I do the advocacy, the JAG soldier gives the Government an accurate, apropos briefing. Then don't memorize this, Ha, he said. The musician to be defended, the one on the right, his name is Richard Kruspe. He said it so well, Ha was impressed. How do you spell his last name? Jason spelled it out nice and clearly. Mein gauche! Ha wailed. Is he really in the promo photo? Please identify the subject, for a warrant for the Government's heavy sack of gold. Drill Instructor, à la gauche, my left is Richard, your left is Paul, according to the law.
    Jason rolled with it. He tried to get along with being Rammstein's promoter for the next thirty minutes. He announced that. Out of nowhere, he flipped to the blank side of a sheet of paper. Ah! The glossy 8x10 professional photograph of the band, Ha said. All five of them together. Six, he corrected her. What year is the photo taken, Counselor? Oh, there's controversy about their reputation and the fans and the censors, he began. The fan who handed the photo to me said it is 1997. They have more than one #1 hit. They're so popular, they've been mobbed by fans. What is public? Encyclopedia? Rammstein has disappeared in the past three months. Counselor, Ha said, should the Government of the United States of America do anything right now in 1993 regarding Rammstein in 1997? Are they safe? Where did it happen? Were they at home in Germany? Were they on tour in the USA? I know the case, Jason said. It is not what you think. I present to you, Government, the case of Rammstein the Pussies.

Shoegazer the manager for Rammstein

Shoegazer took a long break from Fender amps to lead artHausDC. On the way to Richard's guitar is a rush to deliver something to ESP to prepare them for a long slog with Rammstein, hopefully as long as Ron Wood and Metallica. A German band imposed onto a Japanese company by three teenagers in America. Sure! If there were three rifles, one for each country, everybody has staked out Ha is not American. What about Green Day? she asked. I'm innocent, I'm innocent! A Punk three-piece band, you two are right. Green Day doesn't need a Vietnamese mixing with them, totally redundant! Ha said. Shoegazer and Jason thought that was reasonable. So, uh, no studio producing for me. She rattled off the potential producers from the New Wave faction to help make Rammstein palatable or somehow money-making at spendthrift dance clubs where word of mouth was better and art opinions were respected. No Depeche Mode, no Pet Shop Boys, no Wham, no Duran Duran, no Alphaville, no Erasure. What about The Human League? Are we up against a case of Tears for Fears great singles in a row, but nobody cares about album music?
    I want them to sweat for it, Jason said. Ha agreed on Rammstein's aspiration. The standard is really high. He said it has to be simple lyrics like Vietnamese spoken by GIs. But she liked long German words and smooshed together spelling. Doesn't matter. The money is not in the studio for Guyker the ESP investor. He had no problems with not having to comprehend Rammstein. Jason dropped his father's order and quit on Vietnamese poetry to work on Gibson. By the time his uncle Thomas bounced him back to Fender, he was more and more old-fashioned Celtic. Ha compromised and kept Scandinavia on her mental map, which was whiped away by the Atlantic alliance with France and Britain. She dropped her Spanish dictionary (she was taking that class in school, so she cut class some more), Jason dropped his Vietnamese dictionary so he can play guitar, and Shoegazer picked up her German dictionary (she already learned Spanish) to manage Rammstein. Ha had a Latin textbook left over from eighth grade. We can do this! Examinutos, only a quiz, Jason surmised. Ha agreed, It's a folio not the opposition political party, okay?
    Rammstein's studio albums in correct cosmic time order, actually discussed by Rgo Teens in 1993 with less than half the titles aligned with Rammstein, using titles of the three Catholics' songs at the time not yet approved for Rammstein, on how to cover up that Ha doesn't do Rammstein's lyrics, only the industrial riffs as a teacher teaching a genre to the other Teens Rgo, so technically the government's quota is below the government's allocation to the people. (Editor's note: We'll get to the unreleased “Ramm4”.)
    She tap dances is how she produces the riffs, Ha attested as a self-witness. Jason ordered Ha to demonstrate to Shoegazer, so Ha tap danced in her Dr Martens. Shoegazer was convinced the government can win. The government attests to the people that Ha's methodology does not use electricity. Shocking revelation! The People vs The Government is not a question of art (Rammstein's fans are the jury), federalist Ha said. It is whether the People's attorney would like to testify Not Guilty is not applicable as an argument by the government. The side show goes on and on. The fans don't want Rammstein operatic ballads and Till's spoken poetry and big boob women in biker costumes that have nothing to do with Germany, was the federalist's position. They want Industrial music because they used up their quota already. Instead of petitioning for another round of subsidized allowance for the people to make their own music, they sue the government to get free consumption without paying taxes. They put up stone-faced French models as a bargaining chip. Jason laughed. Ha had to demo Industrial music a capella to the other two. She said she was going to start out with the Industrial chugging sound. They asked, What is chugging?

As the jury knows, it is not the Industrial sound that's giving fans a problem. They have witnessed their frenzied spending go to Rammstein anyway. Metal groove it is not, isn't that right Counselor Guyker? Didn't you sing with the government that breakfast cereal song?


He acquits Thomas in his absence.
    Oh, said Ha, Richard's accountant asks, “How is chugging different from pulsating?” The government must clarify, with the piano lid down. How would [Shoegazer] answer the question if she were chugging on a concert grand piano? The lid goes up! he said. You wrote “Pulse Restriction” for your real band— Which never got to rehearse together, Ha interrupted, It was only me and Nora Gaines. I bet you would like her voice if my dead band got me to do pulsing and throbbing, and you'll still say it sounds like Metallica. Sure, Ha, which one do you do, the pulsing or the throbbing? I don't know Metallica, so I'll say pulsing. Christian Lorenz is the name of the keyboardist, Jason informed her.






He contemplated for two minutes in silence. Time's up, piano lid down. She said simply, The piano will chime, it will not pulse. Considering you are not hugging your guitar, your logic is backwards. Dang true, he said. Then does the task of pulsing go to Mr Christian— I have to write down their names and instruments. Counselor, please come forward. She forgot Oli-Schneider the bassist. Right on, so, she said when he was done checking her paper, The task of pulsing would go to either Mr Lorenz or Mr Kruspe. Did I say his name right?
    How many iterations do you need? Jason complained. She drew a Sigma and a math integral symbol in the air, blabbering mathematics, i equals one in the range from 1 to infinity, as i approaches infinity, how do we get to one? Plug in the first value but it zeroes out. Do you know disjunction in math, Jason? I heard you say Integral, so do that, he said. Yet, she took time out to explain disjunction, such as binomials with two values, a positive and a negative number in arithmetic operations. He asked, Is Reimann summation a function or an operation? That's a great question. He is German, she said. Jason said, One. Who the heck takes the sum of zero?! Noooooo! Jason was feeling defeated for comprehending maths. Ok, I chime, you pulse. He took up his TellMeMore guitar. No, he corrected himself, For the People of Germany, I chug, you pulse, my client is Richard Kruspe. Do I pulse as my client Till Lindemann? Ha asked. Dang! She starts raving, pretty much trying to be a Metal bass player, a metalhead full of hair, knees bent, whipping her hair in thrash mode. It confused Jason. Quit thrashing and do something Industrial, start singing! he said. He was on a Metal groove.

Shoegazer's $1 idea was ahead of its time! She asked for a redo of the “velvet box”. She needed more merchandise for Rammstein, explaining they could do paper velvet oragami inexpensively. She described a star hanging mobile with pinholes. Strictly for the ladies, a toiletries zippered small velvet satchel. For tampons and maxi pads. Even though Ha is too military and preferred drawstring, Shoegazer explained that it was only going to be $1, easily made in China, they can attach a gold-colored zipper easily. Yes, they can do tote bags. Ha wanted it in canvas like classic L.L. Bean. Shoegazer said she would find out if that can be done, but she was pricing out no more than $12 to $22 retail. Ha had to approve, then she broke out into song.

Art poorly immitates life... like a RammyTeens EP